Elizavetta 2.0 - eh, not so much
Over the past few months, I’ve been experimenting with web 2.0 social networking (Twitter, MySpace, MyDungeonSpace, Fetlife, and Facebook). And tonight, my experiment is officially concluded.
The result of this experiment? Social networking media, kink-based or otherwise, is not for me. Period.
Here’s why:
- I cannot participate in nor support the sound-bite-y way that social media acts to further dumb down and decimate human communication.
- Most social media platforms are either stupidly laid out or just plain butt-fuck-ugly… or both. They give me an aesthetic headache. (Fetlife* is an exception).
- Every profile I create is just one more thing I have to maintain. I’m not so much into investing my efforts and time into anything I have to babysit in the way social media requires - and especially for so little pleasurable or meaningful return.
- Since I’m no longer in my previous line of work, I’m no longer interested in fielding deleting such scintillating conversation openers such as: “@elizavetta how r u” or “Do you do ashtray calls?” or, “You’re really Ms [insert any popular Domme name] from [insert any phone sex or online escort site], aren’t you?” or my personal favorite, “Misstrees, may I suck your toos and worhsip U forever.”
- I don’t really care what people are eating, where they’re getting ready to go, what their turd looked like this morning, or what they’re being bored by at the moment - all said in less than 140 characters. Call me callous if you must, but I’ve done more than my share of listening to stream-of-consciousness chatter… during the several years when my children were pre-schoolers.
Basically, this experiment has only served to further confirm something I’ve always known about myself - that I’m actually quite social, but very impatient with the rules of vapid social interaction that are meant to ensure a fanatical clinging to the shiny mirror-like surface of things forever.
So, as of tonight, I’m canceling the profiles I’ve put out there and calling it quits on my experiments with 2.0 social networking.
If you want to truly engage in actual conversation with me, you know how to find me.
.
*In my opinion, Fetlife is a 2.0 social networking exception in several ways. If you’re looking for a specifically kink-centric platform where actual conversation has some chance, you might find that it’s at least worth checking out.
Oh I do so wholeheartedly agree, dearest Elizavetta. I’ve avoided social networking sites like the plague until now and your words have convinced me to stay away. This pixellated half-life is something I do not want to be a part of, and the paucity of the internet’s capacities for connection frustrates me. That said, the medium is forever expanding and I’m glad I can pick and choose how I wish to use it.
I love your new look, darling. It’s lush.
o xxx
I couldn’t agree more. Though I have myspace and facebook pages for my “writer self” I don’t do anything with them. I quickly grew tired of all the same things you mentioned. People don’t seem to realize that (facebook especially) is nothing more than a pen holding people captive so they can be forcefed various advertisements and interactive software.
Bottom line - I would rather be a writer who writes fiction, than one who writes about what I ate for breakfast while being turned into a guinea pig.
I agree with your sentiments; I have been invariably disappointed, disgusted, appalled and/or amused by what passes for social interaction. Well, that and amazed at how much time some people to have to waste online! I cannot concur with fet though - I was on briefly at the very beginning and was hopeful but it quickly deteriorted into just another silly place.
I have all those accounts, but I never use them. I’m not at my desk and browsing enough to Twitter, and I don’t want to leave it open on my PC all the time, at work or home. Fetlife is growing, but I’m still on the fence with it.
I think that if you’re a web worker or have some autonomy wrt to your online accounts, then the social networking is fine. To me, it seems to be more single or childless people in some kind of computing jobs who are on all the time and who can pop off a note every once in a while with little effort. I still prefer blogging and message boards.
In real life, I have a Facebook account, and recently a distant relative contacted me. But nobody from high school or my college classes seems to be using them (’cos they’re probably old farts who can’t use a PC), so it languishes.
orchidea,
…the medium is forever expanding and I’m glad I can pick and choose how I wish to use it.
This is the one positive thing about my experience. It’s good to have a choice. Although, I’m afraid that for many people “having a choice” merely means succumbing to the pressure to go along with what everyone else is doing. That’s part of what bothers me about media and advertising in general. but that’s a whole other discussion!
Still, for me, this was an interesting experiment and I’m glad I had the chance to find out what social media is all about enough to say no thanks.
By the way, I’m glad you like my new place. *smile*
Zander Vyne,
Captives of advertising - ah, yes, see my comment to orchidea. Another rant entirely!
selkie,
Fetlife - It’s true that it has the potential to become just another hook-up site. But, I think it’s laid out well and at least it’s not plastered with advertisements. The only ad I saw was in the side bar and it was for an event not a product. I realize that as Fetlife gets bigger, this could change.
I say that Fetlife is worth checking out only because I think it has potential to become something a more than, as Zander Vyne called it, “a pen holding people captive so they can be forcefed various advertisements and interactive software.”
In the end, I decided to jump the fet ship because, after having been there for a time, I realized that most of the people I really wanted to talk to there are the bloggers I already know and interact with through blogs and email! Which brings me a point I should make about blogging…
I don’t include blogging in my assesment of social media because, blogging, if you use it well, can really allow you to develop online relationships with people over time and to converse and correspond and respond to people with more than just 140 characters or text squeezed onto the screen between ads.
Of course, many people use blogs in the same sound-bite-y way they use social media, but I think there’s a potential for richness built into the concept of blogging that just isn’t there with social media.
Tom,
I think that if you’re a web worker or have some autonomy wrt to your online accounts, then the social networking is fine. To me, it seems to be more single or childless people in some kind of computing jobs who are on all the time and who can pop off a note every once in a while with little effort.
I agree. I also think it’s great for business people who want to use it as an adjunct to their business blogging (if they have a business blog). But then, again, we come back to the idea that it’s more about advertising than conversing.
…old farts who can’t use a PC.
*laughing* You know, I’ve always wondered what the difference is between people who continue to embrace new things as they get older and those who don’t. Most of the friends I have who are my age are clueless about anything that even smells like a computer, something that’s really turning out to be a stumbling point in my relationships with them in certain ways.
I understand making choices based on personal preferences - which is what this post was all about in the first place. But I’m talking here about the general shut down (not just about technology) that happens to many people somewhere in mid-life. It’s so sad to me.
I’ve always wondered what the difference is between people who continue to embrace new things as they get older and those who don’t.
Aaauuurrgghh! That starts in high school. Back in the 70s, I used to go to discos and rock clubs. My rock friends hated disco, my disco friends abhorred rock. Me, I just wanted to drink, dance, and (hopefully) get laid. But I learned to enjoy rap, new wave, alternative, and all sorts of new stuff, without believing that it somehow compromised anything that I had enjoyed in the past.
Now, I run into a lot of people my age who are still stuck in the 70s. Recently, I was trying to tell some of them about my (vanilla) blog. I gave them the address, and told them how to use Google to find it (it’s literally one of the top hits on several keywords). Nope, they couldn’t figure it out. And after a couple of them found it once, they couldn’t figure out how to find it again.
Half the time at parties, I’m hanging out with the children of my friends because we’ve got more in common. Sheesh! And in one of the groups that I belong to in real life, guess which set makes room for me at the table - the 60 year olds or the 25 year olds?
And my sister? I tell her to get a Gmail account. She’s online one day, and I use the IM feature to say hi. She hunts for 10 minutes before she figures out that I’m the one making the noise. The she asks “How did you know I was online?”
::headdesk::
Okay, I’m going to close before I go on a good rant about people who die before they get old
Tom,
*laughing* Oh, I can SO relate to what you’re talking about here! And your parting statement is exactly IT: people who die before they get old!
I understand the idea of giving up or giving out in life - especially when one has had misfortune, or a generally rough life. But oddly enough, it seems that it’s not the people who’ve had a rough life who begin dying early, it’s the ones who haven’t. Or maybe that’s not so odd at all, actually.
Thank you, Bless you for doing the research for me. I’ve been pondering learning Facebook, but hadn’t gone there yet. Will check out the Fetlife one just “because.”
I like the ability to connect with people I would never have opportunity to meet in real life…computers are amazing in that regard. I like blogging as I see it as a little beacon out here that can attract others who might be see a kindred spirit across the ethers.
Gillette,
I think it’s safe to say that we’ve both found kindred spirits here in blog land. And for that opportunity, like you, I’m grateful.
If you do decide to check out Fetlife, do please let us know what you think, yes?
And you’re quite welcome for the research. Research Girl is my middle name… along with Queen of Darkness, of course. *smile*
I also agree. I just don’t have enough to say to make all those activities worthwhile. I had a Fetlife, a Dungeon Spave and a Collarme profile but I got kicked out of all three for laughing too much at the silliness.
Paul,
Oh man, what a great claim to fame! Kicked out of all the major hook-up sites for playing court jester. That’s precious.
Some fourteen year olds would agree with you about the shallowness of these places. I know one or two kids who love them, but usually it is band related (a good way to let your fans know about gigs).
I have the MySpace and FaceBook of course. I was pulled into them by others and it felt rude to refuse..I loathe FaceBook and its widget fetish for it spams me
Twitter gets full marks for the Heiku-ness of so few words.
Myspace is cheap and cheerful but rarely useful.
Eeep general shutdown!
How does one know if it is happening to oneself?!
Tis true, I’ve seen it happen to many friends, but then perhaps it is because we cannot talk honestly anymore? I do not tell my friends about the highs and lows of needing an undertaker. If someone asked me about the rope around my ankle I’d be proud to tell all…but no one asks.
Should I send everyone I know a link to my blog….er….a good question….
Is this the heart of it? The sense that if a friend talks about her husband or child it will be so mundane and ordinary and worse, prove the emptyness of a life devoid of passion? and I want to say, is that all!!!
I confess with much shame that I am weak when it comes to these things. not MySpace or FaceBook….hate those with a passion. Some things on Twitter I do not care to know either.
Why then am I on Twitter?
I am lonely. With the seizures being what they are, it is increasingly difficult to remain upright at my desk for the time it takes to read and comment on various blogs. So, Twitter allows me to curl up in my favorite chair or in my bed and rest while feeling not so alone.
I know that makes me weak and pathetic. I know it and I hate it. My apologies. Please, do not think less of me, dear friend.
This post (which I enjoyed and with which I agree) reminded me of an old business adage that applies, I think. “Never try to work a man who will work you to death trying to work him.” Some things, no matter how avant garde, kinky, comforting, enjoyable they claim to be, simply aren’t worth the effort at contorting your soul and your self to participate.
RideFlame,
Twitter gets full marks for the Haiku-ness of so few words.
Marks for Haiku-ness… yes, this is true. I’ll concede on that one point. *smile*
Not being able to talk honestly to one’s friends anymore: Again, this is so sad to me! In my experience, it’s not so much that I find them boring (though, that’s true in some cases), it’s that they’re just not there. There’s nothing actually wrong with them, they’re just no longer truly present in their own lives. Way too much smiling and nodding, you know what I mean.
Hmm… maybe that’s one of the real reasons we blog (some of us, anyway). To find kindred in whatever way we can.
Butterfly,
Oh, butterfly dear…
I have the luxury of being somewhat healthy at this point in my life, but I wasn’t always so. I know what it is to not be able to move, to be in constant pain, to be trapped in one’s body (and the horrible feeling of aloneness that brings). During those days, social media (had it existed) and every little message I could have eked out to the world as well as every little tid-bit of conversation I received would have been a little bit of heaven to me, I’m sure of it.
I’m fully aware of how fickle life is. I also know that what I dislike today could become my solace tomorrow - and visa versa.
Think less of you for choices you make based on your reality? Not a chance.
Kaz,
All so true!
As I often tell my geeky husband whose eyes light up at every single new techie bling that bursts on the scene claiming to be the best thing since Astroglide:
“Not all technology makes life better, honey.”
He disagrees, of course.